Thursday, April 3, 2014

Alone But Not Quite

There are times that I do feel alone. Times that I feel wherein I have to exert more effort in reaching out to others. It's not that I'm totally crippled when it comes to making friends; it's always been natural for me ever since I was a child. But as time passed by, I found out that it's more of trying to fit in and blend with the crowd. Being self-conscious made me this way, aside from the fact that I experienced a mild case of bullying during senior year.

Yes, I was bullied. But it's more of snide comments and being talked about in the ladies' room. I'm glad someone helped me out and defended me from the mean girls, because I was too helpless back then to fight for myself. I didn't know what I did to get them worked up on me. Maybe it's because I was on the honors' list. That friend surely helped me out and told me that I don't have to be ashamed of being "nerdy". That got me through the healing process.

And I realized that I don't have to change just to feel accepted and get into a crowd.

Well, I'm glad I'm over it now. One of the bullies actually apologized to me during our high school grad day, and I'm thankful for that. Being angry can be tiring. I focus instead on what I have now. My friends may be a handful, but they're good to me. And I'm bound to meet other friends later on.

I accept the fact that I'm introverted. Even if I like being alone, I still like having friends. I attract the good people, and I'm lucky in the field of friendship.

I don't feel so alone anymore.

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